7 Tips for Supporting Children After Trauma

Sarah Grissom – United 4 Children Education Specialist

When a child goes through a traumatic experience, whether it’s a natural disaster, a loss, or a sudden change, it shakes their sense of safety and stability. As adults who love and support children, there are things we can do to help them feel safe after a challenging experience. 

Here are our top seven tips to help support children after trauma. 

 One of the first things you might notice after a traumatic experience is a shift in your child’s behavior. Tantrums, clinginess, and mood swings are all common responses to trauma. 

Additionally, a child who was sleeping through the night might both struggle to fall asleep and wake throughout the night. A preschooler who has been using the bathroom successfully for over a year may start having accidents.  

Dr. Karyn Purvis, co-author of The Connected Child, and Dr. Bruce Perry, renowned child trauma expert, both emphasize that trauma can cause a child to regress developmentally. Dr. Purvis recommends that when a child is in survival mode, it’s helpful to “cut their age in half” when setting expectations. So, if your 4-year-old suddenly acts like a 2-year-old, it’s not misbehavior, it’s a signal they need support and safety. 

💡 Tip: Respond with empathy, not punishment. Ask yourself, “What is this behavior trying to tell me?” 

Before a child can heal, learn, or adjust their behavior they need to feel connected. Our job as caretakers is to show up, as best we can, with patience and presence. This can be hard when an adult has also experienced trauma. However, simple moments of connection, eye contact, cuddles, silly songs, shared meals can go a long way. Dr. Purvis calls it “felt safety” the act of creating an environment where the child feels safe on the inside, not just physically protected. 

💡 Tip: Play, snuggle, listen, and follow their lead. Connection heals. 

Routines are always comforting to children, but they are especially important when a child has experienced trauma. When a child’s world is unpredictable or disrupted, daily routines bring a comforting sense of order and normalcy. When children know what to expect next, waking up, breakfast, playtime, rest, it gives them a sense of control in a world that feels out of control. 

If a child’s routines have been significantly disrupted, look for ways to make daily occurrences predictable. For example, sing the same song when you greet your child in the morning when they wake up or read the same book after eating a meal. When you reunite after a day at work greeting them the same way everyday is an easy way to establish a routine. You might say something like “I am so happy to see you. Give me five,” and then do a special handshake that you made up together.  

Research from the National Child Traumatic Stress Network shows that predictable routines help lower anxiety and build emotional security. Routines help us all and they are especially important during times of disruption and trauma.  

💡 Tip: Start with morning and bedtime routines. Keep them simple and as consistent as possible, even in temporary living situations. 

Trauma lives in the body as much as in the brain. Sensory experiences like playing in water, rocking, swinging, touching soft textures, or listening to calming music can help children regulate their nervous systems. 

Dr. Bruce Perry emphasizes the power of rhythm and sensory-based interventions to help “reset” the brain.  

💡 Tip: Try sensory bins, bubble baths, play dough, gentle swinging, or soft blankets. 

Children often process trauma through play long before they can talk about it. You might see them reenacting storms, emergencies, or rescue missions with dolls or trucks. This kind of play helps them make sense of their experience in a way that feels safe and manageable. 

Give children plenty of opportunities for open-ended, unstructured play. 

💡 Tip: Keep blocks, figures, puppets, or art materials accessible. Let them decide what to play and don’t be surprised if they play the same scripts over and over. 

There’s something naturally soothing about being outside. Watching clouds, touching grass, digging in the dirt, these simple activities ground children in the present and offer a quiet kind of healing. 

A growing body of research shows that time in nature can reduce stress, support emotional regulation, and improve attention. It doesn’t have to be a forest, your backyard, a park, or a quiet walk can work wonders. 

💡 Tip: Look for “green time” every day, even if it’s just five minutes watching the wind in the trees. 

Physical activity is a powerful tool for healing. Running, jumping, dancing, crawling, and climbing all help release built-up stress and support healthy brain development. Dr. Perry’s research shows that movement helps regulate the brainstem, where trauma responses are stored. 

Movement also promotes joy. Laughter, silliness, and endorphins can remind a child (and us!) that good feelings are still possible. 

💡 Tip: Turn on music and dance, create obstacle courses, or play follow-the-leader games. 

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 Supporting a child after trauma isn’t about fixing everything; it’s about showing up consistently and compassionately, to create safety, connection, and space to heal. Every child’s path to recovery is different, but your presence, patience, and willingness to tune into their needs make a lasting impact. Incorporating routines, open-ended play, sensory experiences, time in nature and physical movement are all excellent ways to support their health, healing, and wellbeing during difficult times.  

Seeking additional support for your child or children in your care?

• Attend our virtual Early Childhood Trauma Training on July 17, 2025
• Visit our training calendar for additional trauma trainings
• Please visit United 4 Children’s Crisis Resources page